Instructions for Un-assisted Living

Once there were two of us. That is, until one night he woke up with a pain in his chest and by the time morning came in an emergency room there was only one of us left. But I don't want to dwell on that now. It's more about what happens next.

Not only is it very very sad, and you have many things to brood about that you could have done differently, but a whole new challenge awaits you. That is what this blog is about - how to accomplish things you have never done before and do not really understand. Things like how to sell an old car and buy a new car without paying too much; how to open a wine bottle or a pickle jar; how to get that hard plastic wrap off the razor blade packaging; how to drive on an interstate populated by huge threatening sixteen wheelers; and the simplest thing of all- how to pump gas.

All these things must be accomplished while staying moderately healthy, moderately cheerful, and within an aura of silence. The key to this is that you must not let the out-of-town children know about any mishaps, because nothing good can come of that.