I CAN OPEN A WINE BOTTLE!

At Thanksgiving one of my sons came. He always brings a lot of high-tech items trying to bring me into the 21st century. These were really exciting items, however. First, a wine bottle opener that I can actually operate. My wine collection was building up, and I could never open a bottle because I have very little hand strength. I couldn't push that corkscrew into the cork. So I just waited until someone walked by the apartment, or until I asked someone to dinner. Once I even went upstairs to a man who lived up there whom I didn't even know. He just opened the door a crack and opened a bottle of Riesling out on the landing.

This wine opener is phenomenal. It is shaped like a tube about 10 inches long. It has a charger just like your cell phone. You slip the tube down over the neck of the wine bottle and press a button on the side, holding the bottle firmly with your right hand. It makes a loud whirring noise and agitates itself on the wine bottle. When the noise stops, you press another button and lift it off. Voila! Inside the tube is the cork.

My son also brought this clever thing called a digital picture frame. I have seen this advertised in the catalogs this Christmas and it is very cool. Somehow the pictures from your digital camera get put into this frame. It has a remote just like the TV, and the pictures just magically appear in this handsome black frame, like a slide show. Of course I do not know how these photos got into the digital frame, but maybe some day I will find out. When I do, I'll let you know.

SCORECARD FOR RETIREMENT HOMES

My final thoughts on retirement homes---

(1) Don't go unless you have to. Some people are in such distress physically that there is no other option.
(2) Don't go if you have a personality that is not suited to following a prescribed way of life. If you are not a follower by nature, chances are that you are going to be restive in a retirement home setting.
(3) Don't go into a "buy-in" retirement set-up. If you still want to, and you like the place for some other reason, consider the sum you pay in at the beginning to be gone forever.
(4) Have someone you trust look into the background of the operators, particularly if the administration is a chain, ostensibly called "non-profit." That very phrase is often misleading. Better to seek a home sponsored by a church, or a fraternal organization that you know -- things can go wrong there, but at least there is a bond shared between the operator and the resident.
(5) Have someone who cares for you be a frequent visitor to the retirement home. Nothing makes more of an impression on the management than to know someone from the outside is looking in.
(6) Remember that things cost much more than you anticipate and be prepared for constant escalation. Best not to go unless you have flexibility in your income.
(7) We were so happy when we left, even though we left our money behind. But other people were content there. I think it is partially a matter of temperament.